Today it is snowing. It is just so beautiful. All those tamarack needles that we've battled with are covered with a clean white sheet. It seems like a blank slate. I'm feeling that way personally to. Today I met with a vocational counselor and we made a tentative plan for my future. She doesn't know me or the myriad of conflicting feelings I'm having. The room was so cold that she was sipping hot water to stay warm. Not enough body fat. I was feeling awkward about my age and my whole pathetic story. But we skimmed right over that part. We went straight to sorting through the various careers I might be good at and one seemed to crystalize as we talked. An Occupational Therapist. A two year program that will result in a career with rewarding work, great pay and high demand. She feels that my years as a mother have prepared me with the patience and compassion that the job will demand. I will be helping people whose mental or physical handicaps stop them from being independent. I will teach them skills that will allow them to function without help in their everyday lives. There are a great many unanswered questions--how I will pay for the education--can I do the math?--will Bruce be well enough and do well enough to support us?--how will it affect the most precious things in my life--my children? The snow contiues to fall. So slowly and yet so thoroughly changing the landscape. For just a few hours, before it starts to melt, I won't think about the unfinished chores underneath. I'll just enjoy its whiteness and its simplicity.
2 comments:
it will all work out. xox
I just love you. You are so tough and cheerful though all of everything...It will play out as it should. We, the children, are learning so much from you right now. I can't wait to leave this Utah snow behind and come up to your winter wonderland.
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